Ruining Magma

Fans of the original New Mutants (or even the current one, WHICH YOU SHOULD BE READING) are likely quite familiar with the character Magma.  She was the first new member of the team past the original five, debuting within the first 10 issues of the series.  As a character with a pretty odd origin (Princess of a lost Roman colony), one would think that creators would really have to try to screw her up.  But man, when they did their work on Magma, they really swung for the fences.  So let’s take a look at Magma.

Amara Aquilla was the daughter of a prominent figure in the lost colony of Nova Roma.  Basically, it was an Ancient Roman colony hidden in the Amazon that had not realized that the Roman Empire had fallen and the world had developed for nearly 2000 years since.  Of course, the New Mutants just happen to stumble upon the place (having previously been undiscovered this whole time), and they have a big battle with Selene (of Necrosha fame).  Long story short, the kids win and Amara’s father sends her to their school so she can learn about her powers and the new world.

Magma was a mainstay of the team for over half the book’s run until she became the first victim of Louise Simonson’s wash of the New Mutants cast when she took the book over from Chris Claremont (mainstays Magma, Magik, Mirage and Cypher were jettisoned in favor of the kids from Simonson’s X-Factor).  Magma became infatuated with Empath of the Hellions (the New Mutants’ evil counterparts) and transferred to Emma Frost’s Massachusetts Academy.  Of course, Empath was the shadiest of shady kids with the power to affect emotions.  But it turned out that he wasn’t manipulating her, and the two were in love.  Until it was revealed that he was manipulating her.  Or something.

Anyway, after the Hellions got wiped out in a move to kill off as many Claremont villains in one storyline as possible (the Reavers ate it too), the leftover New Mutants/Hellions went to Nova Roma to share the news with Magma and Empath.  It was there that the storyline really got wanky.

Merry Christmas!

Have a happy holiday, everyone.  How could you not?  The senate passed a health reform bill and a crazy woman knocked the Pope down during Christmas Eve Mass.  What an excellent day.

Figuring ages in X-Men

When dealing with comics, fans tend to debate over pretty much anything.  Who’s faster: Superman or the Flash?  Who’s the better Robin: Dick Grayson or Tim Drake?  Is the Red Hood as cool as they try to make him seem?  (The answers are the Flash, Tim Drake and a big, fat no.)

But something that sparks endless conversations over the nerd fan populace is when somebody tries to figure out the ages of the characters.  While it seems rather irrelevant of a topic, fans will go on and on about how old they believe each of their characters are and will explain the reasoning using highly complicated formulas that could only be concocted by waaaaaaay too much time thinking about it.  Most come down to using the age each character when they debuted, watching age-specific actions (drinking, voting, getting drafted) and comparing to other characters.  The biggest variable, though, is estimating just how much time has passed in the comic world since the character debuted.  And that’s where it all falls apart.  Granted, Marvel did throw the readers a bone in the 90’s by saying that five years had passed since the supposed demise and return of Ben Reilly, the Sensational Spider-Clone, but it’s been a long time since then.

But really, it’s not too complicated, as long as you don’t need SPECIFIC numbers.  I’ll take you through some of the core members of the X-Men, and try not to hang you up on retcons, age reveals and the like.

If you don’t want to read my process (and I ramble quite a bit), just skip to the bold print at the end and I’ll sum it up.

Iron Man 2 Selling Point: Black Widow?

I was in the comic shop with my girlfriend last week (that’s right – this comic nerd has a girlfriend…who also likes comics) and we both noted that there seem to be a lot of Black Widow comics on the shelf.  I recall seeing either two or three ongoing Black Widow minis right now.  Both of us were confused about the strange influx of comics starring such a (relatively) obscure character.  Sure, Black Widow’s been around for a long while, but at best she’s a cast member in a team book.  Often, she’s a supporting character at best.

A few days ago, I saw the trailer for Iron Man 2 and learned that Black Widow was going to be appearing.  I didn’t put two and two together, actually.  I was too busy nerding out about Iron Man fighting side-by-side with War Machine (played by Don Cheadle!).

This morning, I caught a glimpse of Mike Sterling’s Progressive Ruin (as I do most mornings) and he explained it.  With the minis running right now, there will be several Black Widow trades nice and collected just in time for the movie!  How exciting!  New Black Widow stories for everyone!

Except Black Widow really isn’t the star of the movie (outside of Iron Man).  That would be War Machine – and he just got his ongoing (from the last movie) cancelled.  Sure, they still have time, but what they really need to be doing is fixing the character.  He’s quite damaged.  Of course, almost all of the Iron Man family is, but they’re working on it.

But Black Widow?  Don’t hold your breath waiting on the demand for that one.

Chuck Season 3 Preview

Be excited.  Be very, very excited.

Nostalgia Wednesday: The Colonel’s Bequest

It’s Wednesday – the middle of the work week.  Monday’s still fresh in the mind, and Friday’s still two days away.  Let’s break away from the monotony and take a trip back through the archives of nostalgia.  This week I’m looking back at one of the lesser known Sierra ‘Quest’ games – The Colonel’s Bequest.

If there are two things I greatly enjoy, they are a classic Sierra adventure game and a good mystery.  This one doesn’t really hit either nail on the head, but it is enjoyable nonetheless.  While definitely featuring the late 80’s Sierra charm, the game does not rank up with the likes of King’s Quest IV, Space Quest III, Police Quest II, and Quest for Glory, which all preceded it using the same era of the SCI engine.  As for the latter, it does have all the characteristics of a whodunit, but it has the problem of detaching its player-controlled protagonist from the events transpiring. 

But we’ll hit all these shortly.  First, a warning: while I hate to ruin a 20 year old game you’ve either all ready played or never plan to, there are something of SPOILERS within.  You’ve been warned.

Not a Hoax!  Not a Dream!  Not an Imaginary Tale!  This is for REAL!

You may be aware of this already, but Professor X is still alive.  In fact, he’s one of those rare characters that has never died (brain transplant into cloned body doesn’t count).  So that would make this issue a hoax.  At least it wasn’t a dream or an imaginary tale.

You see, originally Professor X was supposed to die here.  But then, later down the road, creators wanted him back, so the guy that died here finding Grotessk the Sub Human ended up being the Changeling, which didn’t really work since Professor X was using his mental powers here.  This was never really touched upon, but it could have been explained that Marvel Girl was linking the X-Men to the Changeling, as she first started using telepathy right after this story.  That in itself had to be fixed as well, because it was originally given to her from Professor X’s own abilities.  However that was supposed to work.

It seems like the X-Men’s favorite way of bringing back a deceased character is the ‘not really dead’ bit.  Jean Grey hadn’t actually killed herself to stop the Phoenix.  It was an alien entity, and she was safely stored at the bottom of a river.  Storm hadn’t actually been blown up by Havok while trying to stop Nanny and the Orphan Maker.  That was a life model decoy, and she was de-aged to childhood for…uh…whatever reason.  While Colossus actually did die to cure the Legacy Virus, he wasn’t actually cremated and scattered in his homelands.  He was quickly revived and experimented on by Ord of the Breakworld.  Wolverine didn’t actually die when skewered by the Horseman Death.  It was actually a SKRULL!!!!!  Wolverine himself was Death.  Wrap your head around that one.

So when an issue like this comes around (never anymore, because it kills the shock value), take it with a grain of salt.  It’s likely exactly what it says it’s not.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen takes out two librarians

Well this is interesting.

A library in Lexington, Kentucky had a copy of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier in circulation, but a 57 year old librarian (left in picture) decided that she did not want the book to be available to the patrons of the establishment, so she checked it out herself.  And kept checking it out over the course of an entire year.  That’s dedication to a cause.

The plan got a wrench in its gears when a patron, determined to read the book, placed a hold on it, which meant the librarian could not check it out again (without suffering staggering overdue fees).  Determined not to let the evil be spread, she got another librarian (this one 62), to cancel the patron’s hold, which brought the whole scheme to light.  Both librarians were fired.  Oh, and the clever patron who reserved the book?  An 11 year old girl.

Disturbing to ME, at least

Check out this cover:

There’s something that greatly disturbs me about Casper looking back and seeing exactly how he was killed.  Of course, this assumes that Casper is actually the ghost of Richie Rich, and that apparently Richie Rich was killed by teleporting pedophile.

This series actually ran for about 45 issues.  But if you could team up with your own ghost and have wacky adventures, wouldn’t you?  Just how wacky, you ask?

It turns a person silly!

Frankenstein meets the X-Men

Sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up.

In my quest to read the entire saga of the X-Men, I’ve found myself struggling to get through the middle of the Silver Age run of the X-Men books.  The Stan Lee/Jack Kirby stuff was decent, and I know the Roy Thomas/Neal Adams run is excellent, but there’s a big chunk of issues that seem to just go on and on and on.  Stuff like Tyrannus and the Mole Man battling each other, with the Cobalt Man involved.  Like an entire issue of the X-Men trying to raise money for plane fare to get to Europe to save Professor X from Factor Three.

And then there’s this thing.  An issue so bad, it really deserves its own entry.  While the cover assures that ‘The X-Men meet Frankenstein’ is ’nuff said’, I assure you that more needs to be said.  That phrase is certainly not ’nuff.

The issue opens with Professor X summoning the X-Men out of the Danger Room and tells them that Frankenstein’s monster has been discovered in a block of ice.  It turns out that Professor X always believed that Mary Shelley’s book had been a true account (for whatever reason) so they all go off to take a look-see.  While the monster himself would be more of a zombie, his creator might have been a mutant.  Because THAT makes sense.  Coincidentally, while the X-Men might not exactly be welcome poking around such a discovery, the man that found the monster decides to thaw it himself rather than waiting for government officials to arrive.  And hilarity ensues.